A mixed bag…

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Morning folks
I trust you had a fandabadozi weekend.
Here is the weekly Lima wrap-up of happenings in Chaos Central…
What’s gone wrong?
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Facebook seems to have a daily habit to remind us what happened a year ago, two years ago and back to the beginning of FB time.
This weekly rambling blog keeps popping up and glancing at the past, I must sound like a scratched record at time: Noise, neighbours, traffic, blah-blah-blah.
Why can’t I just adapt and get on with it?
We’ve been here over 3 years now (5yrs+ myself in 3 very different stints).
We’ve moved house and really had hoped for a fresh start, a new beginning and to put all the crappy things that happened in the past behind us, but oh-the-irony, it hasn’t actually panned out that way.
We’ve moved to Miraflores, a different district, full-circle for me (it was where I lived when I first came here as a volunteer, with the very sadly-missed Armida and her lovely family).
Miraflores is where most tourists stay. It is generally seen as a safe neighbourhood.
My problem (well one of them) can be traced back to when I first started working shifts at the Brewery in 2007. Shifts are like a washing machine cycle for your body, not great and if you don’t get some decent kip in between, you’re gonna come out the other end in a bad way.
In addition to this, a switch must have been flicked inside of me when the Nipper arrived, as I went from being a super-heavy sleeper to the World’s lightest sleeper.
Or new neighbours are even noisier than the old neighbours we moved away from, plus we live next to a HUGE Chinese restaurant which has a live band playing almost every night until 1am, which is not great, as the neighbours start up their music around 6am, so you get 5hrs shuteye, on a good day.
Lack of kip leads to rattiness which leads to arguments and a vicious cycle that is hard to break.
I’ve even mentioned the word “move” after just one week, but we’d lose our deposit and don’t really relish move #38 just yet!
The good news is that the Nipper has a new bike seat and grips, after the old ones were chewed by the owner’s pooch!
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In my eyes, so many social problems here could be solved here with one thing that is sadly, sadly lacking and that is a bit of consideration for others, but like always, I’m living in dreamland sadly. It will never happen here :-(
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Logistics!
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My grand plan of running either to-or-from work (to avoid bussing it both ways, for this reason)
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was bound to fail at some point and it did.
I used to pushbike to the British Library from my old house in Robin Hood.
A beaut 21 mile commute for which I never quite broke the hour (it was hilly in my defence!)
One day I arrived to work to discover that my “supply chain” had snapped, as I only had cycling shoes to wear, which are about as comfortable to walk in as a pair of mousetraps for shoes!
Friday night, getting changed, I realised I’d forgotten my shorts. Risk running home in my Joe-Boxers (a fetching yellow pair) wasn’t really an option. D’oh!
Handbags at dusk!
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Which led me to be on a bus with my work friend Lourdes. I was rambling on about something when a commotion started on a crowded bus. A punter was not happy about something and the “Cobrador” (conductor) was getting a severe tongue-licking as a result.
Some Cobradoras (many cobradoras) are absolute cowboys/clowns/crooks, but this particular one was ok. It must be a bloody stressful way to make a living anyway.
As is often the case, a lot of shouting went on, with the same inoffensive phrases being slung.
“Eres huevon” (you are an idiot).
“Hijo de puta” (son-of-a-beach).
A lot of hot air (especially when some passengers piped in too) but no fisticuffs.
I’ve never actually seen a fight out here. It would have added a bit of spice on a Friday night on the bus home…
Valentine’s Day near-massacre.

Tenuously linked to the above, Valentine’s Day here is a big day.
For many years I was confused as to why everybody said “Feliz Dia” (happy day) to each other. Did they really fancy each other (openly too?)
Then I found out that February the 14th is also “Friendship Day”. In a similar way to “Non-competitive sports days”, it is so people who don’t have somebody giving them a heart-shaped balloon, feel left out, apparently.
On my jog home, a taxista decided to share the love by almost mowing me down. The closest shave I’ve ever had. (You don’t expect somebody in the far/inside lane to cut across two lanes of traffic and jump a red light. Well I didn’t but I should have! Never, trust a Lima taxi driver, ever).
It would have been a very pitiful way to have gone.
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My epitath “Use your (deleted expletive) indica….”
To the montañas…
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Met up with my good mate Charlie for a brew in the park. (Yorkshire Tea and a flask, he was a special guest!) Whilst the two Nippers played we planned and plotted next weekend, when I will escape the clutches of the city for 48hrs for the mountains of Yungay, Ancash!
 
Personal preservation.
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Next week.
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Lights-camera-action.
The next round of the “Storytelling” tour takes place on Thursday. Having to go up a few gears as it is at “Centro Cultural” the main auditorium of the business!
2hrs of rehearsals last week had me almost have my story polished, but a week is a long time to remember your lines :-/
(So distracted was I with memorising my lines, I tried to pay my bus fare first with a defunct 1980 100 soles coin and then a 25c Ladbrokes token. Not sure how they ended up in my wallet!)
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Watch this space…
Lights-camera-no action!
Had a phone call from the Casting Agency (like you do) just as I was leaving for work on Thursday.
“Mr Parsons, do you have a beard right now?”
“Of sorts”
“Can you come for an audition for a Movistar advert?”
“When?”
“Now!”
Looks like I won’t be the new ugly mug of Movistar then.
Valiente Valentina!
The Wee One was in the wars this week :-(
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She took a bad tumble and cut her chin open.
Four stitches at the hospital later, without a tear, (she’s made of tough stuff, just like her Old Man, no more like her Mum!) She is a brave little trooper.
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I was such a clumsy kid. Hoping she isn’t taking after me in that respect!
Ruricancho Recce Rumble!
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Running this week had been mainly lumbering home from work, which is never going to be:
a) Fast
nor
b) Much fun.
Got out for an early doors run along the coast, but it was so foggy I could have been in Redcar!
So, the real highlight was trip up into the hills of San Juan de Lurigancho, which at just 131km2 and cramming in over a million people is Lima’s biggest and most populous district.
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Desafio Ruricancho is my first planned race of 2018. It is Lima’s toughest “trail” race. 35km of switchbacking desert mountains, passing through a multitude of shantytowns and finishing atop of Cerro San Cristobal, the cross-topped hill overlooking downtown Lima.
It has a bit of everything, from technical stuff, some scrambling and some fast bits, with toe-grabbing boulders every step of the way…
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The electric train would have taken me to the meet-up point, but with a 6am RV and the first train getting there at 7am, I had to resort to the World’s fastest taxi to get me there.
With a long street full of discotheques still in full-swing, it seemed surreal to be heading into the yonder hills. Another bus took us further afield to our start and by 7:45am we were off!
I got through 5 pints of fluids in just under 3.5hrs, and the sun didn’t really get out. Race day is a worry as there is no shade/escape from the sun up on them tops.
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I knocked 40mins off my 2017 time, felt pretty good and recovered from no less than 4 downhill-flailing-limb-potential-hospital-falls (without actually falling), so I was feeling pretty good with myself until I got the wrong bus home and ended up heading towards Ecuador.
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Raiders round-up
What a season and it’s only the 3rd game!
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The mighty Shipbuilders were at home to the formidable Leigh Centurions (favourites to bounce back up to Superleague).
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Every game is going to be like a World Cup Final this year, and the Raiders played out of their skins to win 24-20. Not an expected result. Get in!
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Onwards and upwards :-)
That’s all for now folks!
Have a superbly outstanding week.
Cheers
Johnny, Lina & the Nipper
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p.s. If you recently had a full-spec triathlon bike relieved from your ownership, I saw this dodgy young scallywag pedalling down the Panamericana on it :-/

28175713_10160077953860302_1097380144_np.p.s. At the age of 46, I have resorted to a shopping trolley, what next? Slippers?

28176438_10160077953835302_1554631549_np.p.p.s. Not sure about some of these beanbags…28277970_10160077953880302_1850856850_o

thats-all-folks

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