Darwin Dave and the Monkey Runners!


Good morning folks

I trust this finds you in finest fettle and that you had a superb weekend.
Here is the latest wrap-up from Locoland…


Mutton Geoff!

My left ear has been dodgy for many-a-year, I don’t know why.
When I suddenly became deaf in my right ear on Tuesday, I was a tad alarmed.
My old GP once said to me “Never put anything smaller than an elephant in your ear!”
So I resisted the urge to prod and poke, buying some drops from the Chemist and hoping for an overnight miracle, which never happened and continued to not happen for a few days.


The thing is that I had an important meeting with all the Gaffers and the other native speaker teachers at work, where I would definitely have to speak (and more importantly, listen!)
A bit wary of SHOUTING, I kept my words to a minimum.

Squeezing a Doc’s appointment in between the meeting and an afternoon shift, a very serious, elderly ear specialist administered what (for me) is one of the most peculiar sensations, having one’s ears syringed! (Apart from the shame of what actually comes out, two candles worth).

It is worth having done (even if your hearing is ok) just for the feeling of having your brain hydraulically forced out of the other ear. Instant relief and instant hearing back :-)


When some idiot was pressing the bell (not pressing, holding it down, not our bell, but it buzzes in all the apartments, so woke everybody up) at 5am the next morning, I was half-wishing I’d waited! I had words (twice) and Lina did too, it didn’t work. Salamanca has more than its fair share of morons!


My first ever job was at the Little Chef. This was back in 1986. The menu used to be in code, each meal/drink/item had a number.

lc(Blokes meanwhile got to wear plastic staypressed slacks, a Dickie-bow and a paper sailor’s hat!)
Number 1 was tomato soup, 102 was a pot of tea, 36 was scampi & chips, 142 was a piece of (expensive) toast. I could go on, and on, and on, really I could, because I can still remember the full menu from 1-145 (tomato soup to a pot of strawberry jam).
Impressive? Not really.
Useful? Absolutely not.
Taking up a lot of valuable space upstairs? Yes!


My short-term memory is failing me really badly and it’s getting worse. I am worried!


Apologies especially to my mate, James B, for my shocking memory, sorry amigo.


Peru hasta la Copa Mundial?

The national side hasn’t been to the World Cup since 1982, but (mathematically), there is a chance this time. Overcoming the Bolivians midweek 2:1.

Watch this space…

Back to work.

After a full month off it was back to work last week, steady away placement exams. The big test is tomorrow when classes begin!


Lima has a third of the amount of the entire population of Australia living in this mad city, (and Oz is six times bigger than Peru and not a lot of people live in a lot of that huge island continent), that is maybe why it feels a bit crowded!


I’ve been back a week and a bit and I am constantly thinking “What the handbag, kettle, partridge am I doing here?” I’ve said before that I love my job, but the place is grinding me down. Lina is determined to complete her course, which is fair enough and the Wee One despite being born in sleepy Harrogate, doesn’t really know any different.

I always said that one function of this blog was for in case I went doo-lally. That day could come sooner rather than later I fear…

Will the Arequipa dream ever materialise???


Neet oot!

With my Adventurist mate, Darwin Dave, in town, a night out had to be on the cards.
I’ve got a small group of brilliant mates here, most of them teachers at Britanico, Saturday was an outstanding turnout. Early doors happy hour in the French Bar (which is about as French as me!) Finishing off late in Sargento Pimiento’s (Sgt Peppers) in Barranco.

(Thanks to Eugene for the pics!)


I recall taking a Tico taxi home. This little yellow bucket of rust is a common sight in Lima, ubiquitous and underpowered. It seemed to take hours to get home, I don’t think it had a 4th gear.


If I said that Sunday was a struggle, it would be the understatement of the year.
We had planned lunch, but that was called off. Sunday was almost cancelled in general.
It is now 9pm and I am just starting to feel remotely human again.

IMG_4772Could have murdered this!

Thank you to the two little ladies for enduring me with my “beer flu”.


It’s not big and it’s not clever, but it is very good fun :-)


Apart from a brief stint with the World’s biggest smartphone in 2012-2013


I have resisted the urge and stoically stay loyal to my Nokia. I am showing signs of weakening however. All my friends use Whatsoop and a new-ish phone would just be very useful.
I have a (blocked) iPhone that I use around the house, but always find I’m carrying the brick, the iPhone, an ipod and a camera! Time to step into this century?

Back in 2006, when we moved back to Blighty, I had to sell everything that I still had left (having previously sold most of what I owned in 2004).

Vinyl is always a mistake to sell :-(
I fleabayed all my collection to a German lad and kissed adios to all my records (for an absolute bargain, d’oh!) This week I worked out how to download free stuff from Applemusic, so having the Frantic Flintstones in my ears going to work made me very happy :-)

Will I give in to the temptations of Huawei, Samsung, Own, LG and Alcatel??

Saucony Jhon!


My running saviour in Lima, the man who finds me shoes to fit my clown feet!
Thanks a million for sorting me out again amigo. They are a right pair of bobbydazzlers :-)


Darwin Dave and the Monkey Runners!

I first met Darwin Dave at the Mongol Rally Czechout party at Klenova Castle, right at the start of the 2012 Mongol Rally. He was driving a fire engine to Ulan Bataar. He is very handy indeed with anything mechanical and a top lad!

Since then he has ridden a Ural Sidecar across Lake Baikal (it was frozen at the time) and is just heading to Ayacucho for the very first Peruvian Monkey Run, run by the legendary Adventurists.


“What better way to spend a week of your life than astride the throbbing almost-power of a badly made 48cc engine mounted on a motorbike that’s exactly the right size for a 5 year old?”


This is one adventure I wish I could be on, I’ll be following it closely.

What is it all about? THIS should explain it nicely…

And finally…

Curious about the above?
What is the Monkey Run really about?
Watch THIS :-)

And finally  II…

Last week I had the great pleasure of meeting one of my two-wheeled heroes, Mr Ed March, passing through Lima on his way from Alaska to Argentina!


If you have 50 minutes spare, watch THIS. It is a brilliant, brilliant video. Putting films together like this is not like this blog, this took him 4 weeks to make! Sterling work :-)

Have an outstandingly awesome week.

Johnny, Lina & the Nipper


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