December 9, 2019

Mudanza

Good morning folks

I trust you are tiptop, (both my readers).
Welcome to this weeks round-up of nonsense, also known as the Superclunk.com blog.
Week III in La Ciudad Blanca.
Apologies for technical glitches last week with photos, entirely down to my incompetence, hopefully I have now ironed these out. Thanks to Roberto for the top tips.

Please do let me know if this “son et lumiere spectacle” doesn´t work.
(All I remember from 5 years of Tricolore French and La Rochelle).

Bonehead´s Bank Holiday.

Too much time in Lima, “Beep-beeeeeep…”

A bank Holiday, on a Tuesday!
I am just glad it didn´t fall on a Sunday.
Did originally have plans to go off for the day, but house stuff/shopping took priority broken up by a Chifa restaurant which reached new levels of mediocrity (and that is being polite), with a waiter who seemed to have just started that moment and was in the wrong job completely, (like the “Datero“/bus caller in Salamanca, with no voice!)

Found a climbing wall, a quid a route and each route was about 8ft high!

Hoping our new neighbours don´t buy these. 2000w output!

Mall Aventura is possibly the second biggest shopping centre in Peru, after it´s Lima counterpart, Jockey Plaza (not Jokey, nothing funny about diddy men/women racing horses for a living, I´d do it myself if I wasn´t 6´4″).

Coincidentally we have ended up living as close to MA as JP, a bit too handy at times.

Shopped-out, house full of cardboard and plastic, going back to work on Wednesday did feel like a break…

Peruvian Airlines – part II.

Imagen relacionada

Grounded!

Peruvian Airlines were playing with my hopes, dreams and readie$ right up until Friday, when they were officially closed. Barstewards!

The problem was that the ladies were booked on a Sunday flight, to tie in with the removal van landing up on Monday-ish?
The main competition airline LATAM, did 2 things:
1) Offer flights to people with PA tickets for $50 (subject to ridiculously limited availability)
2) Increase the price of their flights by 800%

To cash in on option (1), one had to tootle along to the airport, which resembled a small-scale civil war by all accounts.
So, the only option (having already sold both kidneys) was to buy a bus ticket…

Advertised as a 16hr ride, with an 8:30am arrival, the girls arrived at midday.

(I had got up at 4:30am, to shoehorn a run in with VDA to get to the bus station in time, but only after busting a gut, when I arrived did I find out about the delay.

On the way back I then got stuck in a massive, gnarly traffic jam, then couldn´t find the terminal, couldn´t find the girls, had a barnie with a grumpy-ar$ed Taxista, but eventually we got back to the new gaff and all was well with the World).

Meanwhile, the offices of PA remain closed. Think I can kiss adios to my $250 bogus flights 🙁

Return trip booked with LATAM.
Looks like beans-on-toast until Christmas for me. (Which is good, because I love beans on toast!)

Palacios´s coffee…

A new favourite cafe, Palacio´s on Av. Lima, Vallecito.
Friendly service, awesome brews and tasty tucker.

Mudanza!

The original plan was to ship everything down (in a truck, we are inland although confusingly Arequipa does also have beaches) at the end of the year, but an opportunity arose and figuring that if we bought everything down here, when the girls move down here, they´d have a houseful of stuff, with a pretty slow-moving second hand market.

So, we decided to shift everything last minute…

Two surly removal blokes chucked (literally) everything in boxes and bounced it through every pothole between Lima and here. You can´t make an omelette without smashing a few eggs and you can´t move house 1000 miles without smashing a few plates, it seems. A mini Greek wedding reenacted.

I had the bright idea of buying a new mattress down here, thinking it´d be cheaper than shipping ours.
Ding-dong-wrong.

After recovering from a heart attack caused by mattress prices, I placed my order.
Estimated delivery between 21st of October and 9th of November.
I´m happy sleeping on the floor,
(or on a supercomfortable ALKIT DIRTBAG. who needs a mattress!) Just wish I had brought my Dozer!

Dancing Mania!

(No) thanks to Mrs. Hughes, my History teacher at secondary school, who advised me to drop history in my third year, I am no historian.
However there are some events in history that I do know about.

  • Barrow beating Halifax 26-18 in the 2009 Co-op Chamionship cup.
  • Sheep Squad (1996?)
  • “Cokegate” (2017).
  • This night out (just about recovered!)
  • Cantona´s hat-trick for Leeds in the 1992 Charity Shield.
  • Madstock (a “one-off” which just kept going, and who can blame them, same day as above!)
  • The Great Dancing Plague of 1518…

Dancing mania is best described as a group of people dancing erratically for hours (Toff´s on any given Saturday night), or even days at a time, until exhaustion, collapse or in extreme circumstances, death.

The actual cause is still unknown, sometimes classed as a psychogenic disease, a collective hysterical disorder or simply mass madness!

Famous cases include the 1518 Strasbourg epidemic when Frau Troffea began dancing in the street. After 4 days she been joined by 33 others, and within a month there were 400, many of whom suffered heart attacks and died!
Another occurrence in 1278, involved about 200 people dancing on a bridge  in Germany, which resulted in its collapse.

Serious stuff.

I woner to myself whether people saw other people dancing and felt compelled to join in?
Dancing mania appears to have died out in the mid-17th century.

Where is all this nonsense leading to? A tenuous link if ever there was none, that is where…

I have witnessed time and time again, whilst running, that people start running with me (well, not really, more against me) in the same direction or the opposite direction. I kid you not.
There is no eye contact, in fact no contact of any kind, nor competition. Just, people starting running when they see me.
Do I have some kind of Pied Piper (or revulsion quality), or maybe my mere physical presence or appearance makes people realise they are late?

Answers on a postcard please…


It´s all about the bass…

Next week

Next week.

Flying V

Next week.

Clunks…

It has been some time since I rode the “Clunk with no name” to be sold off to a man in Apurimac.
I do miss that bike, but a combination of financial needs-must and not wanting to commit Hari-Kiri on 2 wheels every day forced the sale.

Clunk use in Lima has soared in Lima in recent times, due to the rise in two-wheeled delivery; Glovo, Rappi et al…

The result is that there are now a shedload of Clunk pirates, as fearless as they are clueless, on the road, making for yet more chaos.

These kamikazes don´t seem to have arrived to AQP, yet.

One thing I have noticed is that people here do seem to look after their Clunks better, even going as far as maintenance!
I´ve noticed quite a few Clunks that I never saw in Lima, including a super-duper brand spanking new DR650.
Most folk ride round on old XL200s or AG200s (a two-wheeled tractor in effect). Clunks that seem to last forever…

4 weeks to go!

The Misti Sky Race is in 4 weeks time.
I have not been on´t fells in months.
Time to panic? I´d say yes.

The Gentleman” (translated from Quechua) seems to be looking down at me wherever I turn.
Mocking me with “You´ve got no chance Buster!

Time will tell…

OPEN!!!

The new Britanico Arequipa branch is officially OPEN.

Word is getting out and the punters are flocking in 🙂

Years and years ago, if you dig deep enough in the BBC archives you will find a clip of the legendary Brendan Foster and Jonathan Edwards…

Edwards had just broken another record and the BBC wanted to mark the occasion with a toast.
(I was never offered champagne, but then again it is a l-o-n-g time since I won a race!)

There is a shot when Big Bren and JE are clinking glasses, a nano-second off camera and back to the pair where Edwards has a full glass and a red-faced Foster´s glass is empty!

A similar thing happened at work when we toasted the first customer (not literally) with “Anis Najar” (Peruvian Pernod).
Although I am supposed to be on the wagon right now, it would have been rude to refuse, so I knocked it back, not realising that it was supposed to be a tipple to be savoured!

Ooops…

And finally…

We were just having a s/7 menu at Restaurante La Cholita, when the Nipper shouted “You ‘ re on telly!

I had literally just seen the new commercial for Britanico (Arequipa) on Youtube, but it had only had about 12 views.
Little did I know that it was going on National TV!

It seems like months ago (because it was) since we filmed the advert at Camacho.
We have bosses and other important people come into our classes, to check we are not teaching swearwords and watching smoking/drinking/beating students during class. There is a way (rules) to teach and the Director of the advert went against all these rules.

I´m just a bit-part part-time actor, so I just do what I am told…

The general synopsis is that a (Peruvian) chef is in the Old Smoke in a busy restaurant and to him it just sounds like all the other staff are talking gobble-dy-gook, (not my ex-students before you say it!) So, he goes to Britanico and has the good fortune to be in my class, when suddenly everything becomes clear.
I was told to exclusively pick on him, as all the other actors were non-speaking extras.
THIS IS THE FINISHED PRODUCT!

That´s all for now folks.
Have a splendid week.
Cheers
Johnny

3 thoughts on “Mudanza

  1. What a week. Glad that you got to spend the time with the girls and share the joy of unpacking the surprise packages – with a huge number of moves under our belt we always had casualties!
    Looks like your new workplace is pretty flash! Lucky you look just as flash in the blue vest
    Happy days mate!

  2. Loved this insight of a new resident in Arequipa. Keep this writing style…is quite fun. Pictures worked Well. Thanks Johnny!

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