Out of the cup…

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Good morning folks

I trust this finds you in finest form and that your weekend was splendidly superb.
Here is the latest round-up of random ramblings from Lima.
Monday morning Superclunk.com blog at your service…

IMG_20180421_155215327 31131104_10160361287920302_2697295695894806528_nSummer is hanging on into autumn…

IMG_20180421_164350486“What will he moan about this week?”

Free trial!?
When is a free trial not a free trial?
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When you pay for it.
This would have been a proper rant, but as it transpires I would like to thank the fine folk at Strava for giving me a refund (after I cancelled my “free” trial, then they reinstated my account, then took my $60, then I complained, then they gave my money back, then I smiled a smile of relief!)
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Strava is great and it is free and the Premium account is good, but not $60 good (in my opinion).
Thank you Strava :-)
Adulation!
A number of HUGE billboards are placed high above (generally stationary) traffic around the city with a digital countdown to Peru’s first game of the 2018 World Cup, Vs. Denmark. 55 days to be exact.
The standing joke is that “if you don’t like people talking about the World Cup, go to Chile” (who didn’t qualify!)
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A drama in the lead-up to all this football craziness was the shocking revelations (allegedly) when captain Paolo Guerrero got caught powdering his nose (allegedly).
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Rewind back to the World Cup in 2005 and this.
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Although old Goldenballs seems to be getting by ok nowadays, this caused a furious backlash back then:The headline in The Daily Mirror the following day described the England team as: “10 Heroic Lions, One Stupid Boy”. Beckham was to be voted the 91st worst Briton in Channel Four’s poll of the 100 Worst Britons. He also reportedly received death threats.
Fast forward to 2018 and I have yet to hear one local criticise Mr Guerrero (or believe the allegations). He is a saint and is revered deeply here.
Camiseta-Paolo(What he thinks of me and this blog!)
However, I do personally feel that the top-2nd-from-the-left option of new BCP credit cards (to “fund” your trip to Russia, don’t put it off, put it on) is perhaps not the best choice…
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Indignation…
I have an alarm on my phone that I cannot seem to use. Set for 5:45am Saturday morning, I would have slept until 5:45am Monday morning if I had waited for said alarm!
So, on a day when there was rather a lot to do, I woke up suddenly at 7:30am (a lie-in, after listening/enduring the Chinese restaurant band until 2am) with 18 miles to squeeze in somewhere, which I did on a sweaty morning when the sun was cracking flags at dawn.
I got back to the building, later than originally planned, stupidly dehydrated and with an ear problem rendering me almost deaf, to have the outside (main entrance) metal gate closed in my face.
I went to push the door and an old crow of a woman in excessive make-up (and that is being cruel to crows) told me in no uncertain terms that I had to wait for the security guard, as she held the door shut, barring my entrance.
I pushed the door and said (perhaps a bit loudly, due to my ear problem) that “I live here!”
“No” said crow-woman.
“No what?” I retorted. (Prospects of losing my short temper wer very close at this point).
Another lady leaving said, “Yeah, he lives here” as she squeezed through the gap, so I seized my chance.
The look crow-woman gave me was as if I had just picked up a fresh doggy-dooo and put it in her palm, sheer outrage and disgust.
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For once, I bit my tongue and walked on…
Commuting…
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…is starting to really, really do my nut in!
2hrs to go 10km/6miles.
However, as I have been told, you can’t measure distances in kilometres/miles (which is a hard habit to break).
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One curious (albeit very common) moment came when a bus conductor said he had no change for a 5 soles coin (£1.10), which seems physically impossible when he is receiving 1 sole (22p) fares all day, every day.
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I caused a minor kerfuffle when I mistakenly paid with one of the Queen’s own pennies, instead of a 10 centavo coin, I have no idea how that slipped in my pocket.
Same size, same weight and same colour (if you are colourblind).
Was tempted to tell him to keep it as a souvenir, but he must have been an economist-on-the-side as it is only worth 5 centavos!
c“Oi! No pounds, pennies or shillings on here pal!”
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Was put on the naughty seat (beneath the skylight-without-a-skylight) to reflect on my misdemeanours…
 
Off the ale!
No beer!
Until after Lima Marathon, if my legs don’t drop off before May 20th.
BIG session planned on 26th May to undo any goodness done in the mean time.
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Arequipa!
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My long-term dream of moving down south to the fair city of Arequipa had been pretty much dismissed, until I heard two separate rumours this week that they have started building the building, which (in my dreams) I will be transferring to…
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I am planning a trip down there to investigate and see the foundations with my own eyes.
Watch this space…
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Presentation time
Midweek saw me at the Pueblo Libre branch, confusing 32 young punters about various obscure British sports/traditions/obsessions. (A rejigged repeat of a series of talks I gave last year).
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There is now another sliver of the Lima populace who are experts in Cheese Rolling, Gravy Wrestling and Cumberland Wrestling, which makes me feel like my work is almost done!
Top Ten…
New feature, next week…
Experiments best not tried in class!
Next week…
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Viveza…
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Next week.
Signs
31131610_10160361287890302_8288141709854900224_n“Projects YES, no promises!”
Passing by on a bus (just outside town) I saw one “block” with a veritable plethora of signage:
- Local’s bar (Slaughtered Llama?)
- Astroturf pitch for hire.
- Driving school (punters here have lessons to drive?)
- Guinea pigs for sale. (Not for pets I fear)
- Gearboxes, brakes and clutches. All models. (The shop must have been a Tardis inside).
- “Private property. Orders to shoot!” (I have no idea, nor did I hang about to find out!)
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Sporting heroes of the week!
A busy week in athletics!
A very talented local Lima runner called Charles ran away with the Natural Trail Cabo Polonio 60km race in Uruguay, very impressive stuff.
31189769_1410120992427686_1177944800117129216_nPic courtesy of DW Photographer/Association Deporte Solidario

Also, a big shout out to all London finishers, by all accounts it was hot as.
Well done to my friend Angela :-)
The fells/off-road beckons???
Raiders round-up
Out of the (Challenge) Cup :-(
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On a day when the man in black needed to go back to Referee school, the mighty Shipbuilders were edged out of the cup in a dramatic encounter at home against top-of-the-league Toronto Wolfpack.
Toronto Wolfpack are basically as close to a Canadian national side as you can get, they are very good, unbeaten (with just one draw, against Barrow back in February).
barrow 31185170_370179236816097_4304319308114165760_n  31124621_370179543482733_2657309619088523264_n 31124059_370181376815883_2455411865157632000_n 31118168_370180726815948_1585221353202515968_o 31065621_370180876815933_7293959516448620544_n(All pics courtesy of STEVE MILLER SPORTS PHOTOGRAPHY, an excellent site!)
Barrow were leading at the break, but just got pipped 16:12
Gutted, but they can hold their heads high!
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Next week it is back to the league with an away trip to Leigh Centurions, who the Shipbuilders beat at home (also in February).
Onwards and upwards!
And finally…
In my short and unillustrious stint of playing/trying to play rugby league, I had the good fortune to play with a side in York who were known as “West Bank” (not connected to the disputed territory elsewhere in the World). They were a good/mad set of lads and had a first class coach, with fitness being the only thing that mattered in the close season (summertime) when we trained/sweated our hearts out around the Knavesmire racecourse to the scent of the chocolate factory, Terry’s (as it was).
We were fit, very fit by September, when the season started.
One night a semi-professional player came down from local team, Ryedale York. At the time they were in the doldrums of the lower league but he absolutely ran rings round everybody.
It was incredible to witness. And he was a reserve player for a lower division side.
Just how fit are division one players, how fit are superleague players, (how fit are NRL players)???
This VIDEO gives you an idea, with two of my other favourite local heroes involved too!
That is all for now folks!
Have an outstanding week.Cheers
Johnny, Lina and the Nipper
31117992_10160361288655302_5684455135414059008_nPrincess Leia Nipper :-)

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