Play Misti for me…

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Good morning folks

I trust your weekend was splendid and that you are in finest fettle.
Here is the random selection of words, thoughts and general nonsense that makes up the weekly Monday morning Superclunk.com blog…

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Amazing who you bump into in Jockey Plaza, she’s not that tall in real life!

Ahhh, Yungay.

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Last week I was up in the loftiness of Yungay with my mate Charlie.
The main reason was for a bit of last-minute altitude training in readiness for next weekend.
In all honesty, I don’t think it will be enough (for me. Charlie lives at 3500m and has been training like a machine, so he’s alright).

Took the overnight Moviltours “full-cama” bus, which  was a race against time after work but I made it, just.
I always try to get the front upstairs single seat, but when I heard about a recent crash where a driver (of another company) took an alternative route and wiped out the top front half of the bus when the driver crashed into a bridge I spent most of the night dreaming about low bridges and arrived bleary-eyed (but alive) to Yungay at 8am. From there we took a bus up to Charlie’s lodge and after brekkie, headed into the hills!

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We had a BIG route planned, but after less than an hour the heavens opened, recreating torrential Lake District rain and the temperature plunged. It all got a bit miserable, so we bailed early (as it was going dark) and headed down. We did get as high as 4700m (15419ft in old money), so that was a result.

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I got the budget bus back, as I needed to be home by Sunday night, we all make mistakes in life. It is 45 soles (about £10) for a reason…

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I made myself a rule years ago, no real reasoning/logic behind it, but I promised myself I would never watch “Titanic”, (“Mamma Mia” was on the list too, but I failed there. Seeing Pierce Brosnan singing SOS was like watching one of my heroes die, punishment enough…)

Anyway, as I was on the front seat with the screen 6″ from my face at full volume, it was hard not to watch it. My neighbour, an old dear in full waterproofs/hat/scarf/gloves, spent the entire journey fanning herself and sobbing violently to the film. I was secretly hoping that (SPOILER ALERT) Hollywood would give themselves some editorial freedom and save Jack, but alas, no. (SPOILER ALERT OVER).

Meanwhile the rest of the bus was a school party who were as rowdy as a bunch of school kids on a school trip and who all insisted on playing their music through their phones at the same time (“Have you never heard of the magical invention called headphones?” I wanted to ask). At least half-a-dozen different songs all battling for volume supremacy. It was a long ride back to Lima…

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Charlie sent me these epic pics two days later, you can’t control the weather!!!

 

One week to go…

In effect, what I am attempting at El Misti is akin to a ram-raid. Arrive late/leave early, with zero time for acclimatisation. I am not expecting much, but if I do summit I’ll be chuffed to bits. An ambition of 14 years accomplished, hopefully!

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Midweek training has been very average and of little use for Misti. Mainly running back from school, avoiding automatic garage doors and being run over.

I’ve been seeing my saviour/physio, Super Maro, on a weekly basis and despite all manner of niggles and pains, I might just make it to the start line, thanks entirely to Maro.

On Saturday I was up at 4am and out by 5am for one last long run…
20-&-a-bit miles with 8560ft of climbing. Last minute tinkering/trials of various foods/drinks.
I was trudging up one steep climb when an old lady swore at me over the wall, good morning to you too! The only other drama was dodging the hound…

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At the last “caseta” (Watchman’s tower) there is an absolute beast of a dog, a bad tempered, HUGE, snarling monster, who lives in a kennel about 8ft away from the fence. I try to tiptoe past every time, but it always smells me and comes out, all teeth and slaver. I thought I had got past, but no, hound-from-hell got a whiff of me and despite two rocks hurled (one a warning, the other a direct hit), I was soon doing close-quarters-combat with the dog and my poles.
It was like the scene from Jaws, when the shark starts eating the boat, as snarling beast had both poles in its mouth and was still after me. The sleeping Huachiman luckily came out of his tower and grabbed the mutt, as I did a runner down the hill…

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Authentic dog slaver!

Apart from almost stepping in some human excrement (unless dogs have learned how to wipe their backsides with toilet paper) and a discarded sanitary towel on the path, the rest of the morning passed without incident!

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Will it all be enough for next weekend? I seriously doubt it, but time has run out. I am just going to fill myself with all these pills/potions/lotions all week and hope for a miracle…

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In the slammer!

Expansion of last weeks shock news!
Judge Richard Concepción ordered that opposition leader Keiko Fujimori spend three years in jail while she awaits trial for corruption, (for fear of her doing a runner).

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Keiko has been accused of taking $1.2m (£940,000) in bribes from the troublesome Brazilian construction giant Odebrecht in 2011.

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As expected, she denies any wrongdoing, saying the accusations are politically motivated.

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Earlier this year, former President Pedro Pablo Kuczynski resigned in a scandal linked to the Odebrecht case. It seems everybody has had their fingers in this sticky pie.

 

Ms Fujimori’s father, 80-year-old former President Alberto Fujimori, is serving a 25-year prison sentence for human rights abuses. He was let out briefly, but is now enjoying porridge again with his daughter.

Never a dull moment in politics here!

 

Jailhouse Rock!

Last week was Halloween and we were invited to a midweek sports special at one of the biggest houses I have ever been to, a charity bash and what a night!

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Going out midweek is a real novelty, so after getting a flier at work I was home, made-up, changed and ready by 10:30pm. Lina took a bit longer so I started drinking myself into a fancy dress stupor at home, so was pretty much gone upon arrival. JD (Beetlejuice) and Declan (Mexican bandit) were both there, with Erika and Teresa and after a few more sundowners, JD and I were summoned on stage! (It felt like being back in Tenereefeee).

Now, one of my wishes/dreams/ambitions is to be a singer in a band, I don’t/can’t sing, but I like the idea. So when “Jailhouse Rock” was put on for me (I was Dead/Zombie Elvis), I realised that I really cannot sing at all when I am leathered. I would like to publicly apologise to all present.

Fortunately Thursday was a “feriado” (bank holiday) for “Day of the Dead” and I was pretty much there myself. No ale for November, in readiness for December…

“Cochinadas”

Next week…

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Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours…

Next week…

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Theres no place like home…

Next week…

Raiders round-up.

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Not a lot to report from the Shipbuilders, apart from a very kind act of generosity from 2 fans who had a joint 60th birthday party and instead of asking for presents, asked for donations, raising over a grand for the club! Brilliant work :-)

Nipper´s day out.

Saturday saw us bound for “Parque de la Amistad”, late (thanks to the uselessness of my bank BCP) but still squeezing in the required activities: Facepainting, horse riding, pizza, feeding the ducks/fish and feeding the animals, (no ice cream, too late).

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We were just finishing our giant pizza in Pizza Hut (other pizza restaurants are available) when I noticed a football game starting on telly. It looked like SuperLeeds United. Surely not! But it was, versus West Brom. The first time I’ve ever seen Leeds on telly in Peru!

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(Sadly the scoreline didn’t go the way I wanted it too, but we both cheered on Leeds, to looks of puzzlement from the rest of the restaurant!)

And finally…

This is an ace little video.
The UK IN 100 seconds!
Amazing, more trees please indeed.
Homesick doesn’t come close, oh well.

 

That’s all for now folks!
Have an outstandingly ace week.
Cheers
Johnny, Lina and the Nipper

p.s. Not Clint Eastwood’s finest hour, but a good film nonetheless. The TRAILER itself worth a watch for the mismatched 70′s disco track at the end!

p.p.s. Don’t try driving down our street for the next month…

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