May 29, 2020

What the handbag-kettle-partridge is a V-LOG?

Good morning/afternoon/evening/night folks

I trust this finds you fit, well and safe in these modern mad times.

This has been a c-razyassed old week. If you want to live like an ostrich (like me) stop reading the news, if you want to forget everything, go back to work! I did this week (please do not mention Zoom). Absolute chaos, but I am used to that.

Here is the weekly wrap-up of bobbins and gobbledygook that I call the Superclunk.com blog.

Practising Social Distancing

V-LOG!

One or two (both) of my readers mentioned about the possibility of making a V-LOG.
Technology is not my strong point (see anything related to WORK) and videos are something that I need to work on (see TOP TIPS).

This week has been off the scale for mentalness. It was steady away until Wednesday evening, around about the time I start cobbling this nonsense together, then suddenly work went bonkers (I went back to work, but obviously WFH).

Thus, a VLOG is pretty much a lifesaver (or at least a timesaver, or a saver of face) this week.

It is on a trial basis. In my ideal world in my diddy brainbox I envisage readers (viewers) sending in requests, messages, heckling texts, jokes, questions and anything that involves me reading something off a piece of card into a camera.
Special prizes (to be confirmed) for the first 10 messages involving material. Please, we need material.

PLEASE EMAIL ANYTHING YOU LIKE TO SUPERCLUNK.COM@GMAIL.COM

So, here is the very first (and hopefully not the last) SUPERCLUNK.COM VLOG!

Just in case this is a complete disaster, I back it up with some scribbling too. Best of both worlds 😉

Technology and its vicious circle...

Technology is a combination of being the best thing in the world and a complete pile of steaming crap!

It is useful, nay essential, nowadays but it is definitely not for idiots (yours truly) and if done badly, can actually make extra work. I am not going to go into detail but I have learnt heaps about Zoom this week, good and bad. If I ever need to go into a data input role, I am ready!

My big problem right now is that I was caught on the hop (like most folk) with technology at the start of this (sudden) lockdown. My problem is two-fold.

  1. I didn’t have internet, I just used my phone. We don’t have a telly, watch Netflix, nor play games. I don’t have social media so phone internet was sufficient.
  2. My laptops are old. The microphone doesn’t work on one. They don’t have much storage space inside their ageing plastic/metal bodies. They should have been retired a while back…

Using Zoom ate up all my monthly data allowance in 10 days. I then hooked up to the internet of a neighbour (she knows) but it is weak and slow, having to travel up two flights of stairs.

The solution: Get new internet installed and get a new laptop.

The problem: New internet installation has been ordered (but cannot be installed until lockdown is lifted) and there are no laptops available in AQP.
Lima and Chimpum Callao opened up delivery options this week and “essential” shops, but despite being the 2nd biggest city in Peru, Arequipa might as well be Wetwang right now!
No laptops available in the supermercados and they are the only outlets currently open.

The reality: I am buggered! (At least until lockdown restrictions are lifted, if I still have a job by then!)

Don’t panic :-/ Yet…

Home schooling?

Anybody with a bairn/bairns right now is probably pulling their hair out, it is a testing time for everybody.
Parents-teachers-students-everybody.
This week the Nipper has been mostly making things out of cardboard, cooking (see also LLOYD’S PERUVIAN COOKING TOP TIPS), Joe Wicks PE, dancing and giving a daily theatre show. Not exactly syllabus stuff, but she is happy 🙂

Macca’s snacks!

Today our main man Macca reviews some more tasty tucker & tipple!

A triffic sausage butty purchased from Mr. Asda and garnished with my favourite accompaniment, brown sauce!

The main body of work now complete. Tangy cheese Doritos. Accompanied by a Co-op Scotch pancake. Desserts are Asda’s nutty bars. Bit snickery to be fair. Sports mix sweets to finish. And of course washed down with a Fursty Ferret malty amber ale with a full bodied biscuity taste. Nice ! 

I would like to think the star of Macca’s snacks has to be the refreshing thirst quenching ale. This one is produced by Badger Dorset Brewery  !! 

Ferret is the latin word for “little thief.” Respect  !

Badger. Dorset Brewery. 

Thank you Sir. Mouthwatering stuff 🙂
More tantalising temptations next week!

Rooftop trotting…

Been doing my hour of exercise on the slippery slates arriba. No records broken but it is my sanity salvation.

Lloyd’s Peruvian cooking Top Tips!

Lloyd is a very good mate of mine. We came out here as volunteers in 2004 and flew out to Peru together (I somehow got upgraded to 1st class, but that is a different story!) We were on the same volunteer placement together and 16 years later, we are still here (and still both semi-sane).

I admit, I can cook but don’t really enjoy it. I did used to love cooking, but now I just don’t have the patience.
I’ve got my staple 3 dishes and don’t vary much from these. I wouldn’t dare attempt making the local dishes…

Lloyd is a different story!
Check out and subscribe to his excellent new YOUTUBE channel

We have no bananas…

I could happily live on coffee and bananas and toast (and beer on Saturdays). We’ve got plenty of caffeine in, I go to the bakery every 5 days to get bread but have had no bananas for over a month now. There are none to be had for love nor money 🙁

Skitzo and Ponky Brooster’s lucky escape.

Next week.

Andy Farrell syndrome.

Next week.

Nutterbutters!

I was trying to play guitar one day and the Nipper said we should start a band, so the Lockdown Loonbags were formed, then disbanded and reunited (with same band members) as the Nutterbutters, we released two songs, the second is HERE…

Now have renamed ourselves as the Butternutters, there is a type of biscuit (cookie) with the same name and we don’t want our professional development to be interfered with by a snack, or a Youtube channel with the same name!

So, as of now we are now THE BUTTERNUTTERS! Each week we aim to give you one minute of something vaguely resembling music. Please be patient, we are just starting up 🙂

And finally…

Apologies for any technical problems (my forte of late) with the video from last week.
To try to make up for it, I give you a vintage classic (which will hopefully work). Please, please work link…

WATCH RICK ASTLEY.

Stay calm, stay safe, stay awesome, stay at home 🙂

Johnny & the girls x

6 thoughts on “What the handbag-kettle-partridge is a V-LOG?

  1. That VLOG is amazing!! I love the writing and VLOG combo. Keep doing it!! The mecca foods made me laugh.

    1. Thank you! My apprentice is a bit wayward and we are venturing into the unknown, but we will continue blindly the best we can. Onwards and upwards!

      (The food bit just teases me, why do I do it to myself!)

    1. I think we might need to write a script in the future. If people start sending us the contents of their orchards, we might have real storage problems! Hope you are both tiptop 😊

  2. I think the Nipper is vying for star billing, be careful shell be wanting more pocket money and issuing riders!
    You’ve got the technology all sorted, what are you worried about?
    Finally, Tad Harriers have created a Strava Art competition. Can I submit yours in the ‘abstract’ category- Rooftop Lockdown Lunacy?
    Stay safe.

    1. Hahaha Glen, think we are all going a bit loco.
      We have the internet now, but need a modern laptop for work (and all the shops are still shut until we are let out!)
      Go ahead with the Strava art entry, I have limited options upstairs :-/
      Look after yersens amigo 🙂

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